Photo of Professionals at Weinberg, Kaplan & Smith, P.A.
Photo of Professionals at Weinberg, Kaplan & Smith, P.A.

A passive-aggressive spouse may try to derail your divorce

by | May 13, 2020 | Firm News

You have heard of contentious divorces that involve drama, shouting and lengthy battles in court. Your divorce does not have to end up like this, but you can face other unique challenges when dealing with a passive-aggressive spouse. This type of behavior can slow down your divorce or even derail your efforts completely.

If you are dealing with a spouse who is acting passive aggressively during your divorce, you have special challenge ahead of you. At this point, you will want to prepare for what is ahead and plan for your divorce, knowing that you may have to set aside your own temporary emotions when dealing with your spouse. With the right focus, you can secure a final divorce order that allows you to have stability and security going forward.

Tips to make your divorce easier 

Your spouse may be acting passive aggressively because he or she is angry, hurt or does not want a divorce. When a person is struggling with strong emotions, it can lead to behaviors that are harmful to themselves and others. Passive-aggressive behavior can be difficult to identify as it is not overt, but it can slow down your efforts to have productive conversations and negotiations. Some of the ways you can deal with this behavior include:

  • Don’t react with your emotions, and don’t allow your feelings to dictate the important decisions you are making. Remain rational, and think long term, even when frustrated.
  • If your spouse is trying to delay proceedings unnecessarily, work with your attorney on ways you can keep making forward progress. Plan ahead and use court-enforced deadlines to compel cooperation from your spouse.
  • If your spouse is trying to turn the kids against you or undermine your parental authority, keep fighting for a fair custody and visitation agreement. Stay focused on what’s best for your kids well into the future.
  • Passive-aggressive individuals often play the victim. Keeping telling the truth, and don’t engage in useless arguments over small things that are not truly important.

One incredibly important factor for your post-divorce future is to remember that the way you feel now and the challenges you are facing in the moment will not last forever. It can be very difficult to divorce a passive-aggressive individual who is actively working against you, but a strong future and fair settlement is possible. You’ll benefit from working with an experienced New Jersey attorney as you fight for your long-term interests.